Secrets Don't Make Friends
by catholicorprotestant
Summary: Lovino and Matthew have the perfect relationship, but that may have changed. Matthew starts become secretive and distant, Lovino wonders what is going on. When Lovino finds receipts and notices Matthew's obvious dishonesty, he fears the worst. Human AU. RomaCan. Multi-chapter. Lots of fluff with a bit of angst. Probably smut. Teacher!Lovino, Nurse!Matthew, Ace!Lovino
1. Prologue

_**This is an OTP of mine that gets so little attention, so I decided to write a thing. I love them together. I hope you enjoy.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

Quiet fall nights were Lovino's favorite. It wasn't yet cold, but the summer heat had begun to wane. The streetlights had flickered on an hour ago, but he was still sitting on the sidewalk next to his best friend talking about everything and nothing. It had become a tradition for the two boys to be in their own world together until one or both was called in by their parents. It was rather peaceful.

There was not a single person out on the streets now. No children were playing or adults coming home from work. Save a few cats running around and dogs barking in the distance, the night was cool autumn air hugged them as they sat under a light pole. Lovino giggled at something Matthew had said as he hid his face in his hands.

"It wasn't even funny," Matthew smiled, looking at his shoes.

"No, it was fucking hilarious! Shit, Mattie, that was…" Lovino shook his head.

A cool gust of wind blew down the street sending crisp fallen leaves rustling down the pavement. A shiver went down Lovino's spine. He hugged his hoodie around him, rubbing his arms. His Mediterranean body did not do well in the cold. He felt an extra weight gently settled on his shoulders. Lovino glanced up to find a red hoodie draped around him and see Matthew smiling at him, now only in a short sleeved shirt.

"Grazie. Aren't you cold?"

"No. I like this weather, remember? My dad makes me wear it. He's afraid I'm going to catch pneumonia or something," Matthew said rolling his eyes.

"Oh...yeah. You're a crazy bastard, Mattie."

They were silent for a moment. Lovino put his hand down on the curb and felt it touch Matthew's warm hand. A bolt of electricity ran through his body and his breath caught. He tried to push the feelings away once more as he jerked his hand away and turned his face to hide his blush. He felt his hand stop moving and fingers lacing his.

Lovino turned and looked down at the hand now holding his tightly, the owner's thumb rubbing circles on the soft skin at the back of his hand. His heart skipped and beat before racing. He slowly looked up to meet Matthew's soft indigo eyes.

Slowly, Matthew turned his body slightly toward the Italian before cupping his face in his hand and leaning in before hesitantly pressing his lips against Lovino's. Lovino kissed back for a moment as his cold body filled with warmth. How long had he been feeling this way about his best friend? He had lost track.

Suddenly Lovino pulled away. He couldn't do this. He refused to ruin his friendship. They were only eighteen. This kind of thing never ended happily. They were about to graduate. They were registered for college at different universities. Sure, they would be in the same city, but didn't you grow apart after high school?

Lovino stared at his shoes as he thought. He had known Matthew for the five years since he had moved from Italy. They had been inseparable from the start. He had never had that kind of friendship before and he sure as hell didn't want to lose it. _Well Matthew had already kissed him. _He was still holding his hand, waiting for a response. There was no going back. He pulled his hand away gently.

"Fuck..." Lovino muttered under his breath as he gripped his jeans in his fists.

He took a deep breath before taking Matthew's face in his hands and pressing his lips firmly against the other boy's. Matthew's hands were cupping his face. Lovino parted his lips to allowed Matthew in as he moved one hand down to rest against the Canadian's chest and the other sliding to hug Matthew close to him. One of Matthew's hands traveled down his side and wrapped around his lower back.

Matthew pulled back first and smiled at Lovino, who was blushing deeply and chewing on his lip; his golden green eyes sparkling as he stared at him. Matthew smiled, brushing his hair back. He leaned back and kissed Lovino gently once more before hugging him. They held each other for a long moment, heads resting on each other's shoulders.

"Lovi?" Matthew muttered pulling back slightly, holding the other boy by the backs of his upper arms.

"Yeah?" Lovino breathed.

"I really like you. I...Will you be my boyfriend? We're already best friends and I just, I care about you so much. You just…" Matthew pulled away quickly and hugged his knees.

Lovino scoffed and shook his head as he threw a rock into the street. He took Matthew's hand and bumped him against the shoulder with his, flashing the Canadian a smile.

"Of course I'll be your goddamn boyfriend. You're so fucking cute. How could I say no?"

Lovino stood, pulling Matthew up. He looked at the ground and ran his hands down Matthew's arms before lacing his fingers with him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the taller boy's with the use of his tip-toes. He pulled away with a smile before snaking his arms around Matthew's waist and resting his face in the boy's chest. Matthew held him close and kissed the top of his head. Lovino smiled. This moment was perfect. Nothing else mattered.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it.<em>**

**_I feel this may have been a bit rushed. Let me know, so I can make changes. Please review!_**


	2. Chapter 1

**Six Years Later**

"Wake up," Matthew whispered to Lovino who was sleeping on his chest.

"No," Lovino groaned, rolling over to lay on top of him.

"Lovi, I have to go to work."

"Stay home with me," Lovino mumbled, cuddling his face in Matthew's neck.

"I wish I could, but there are lives at stake."

Lovino looked up at Matthew with an annoyed expression. He hated it when Matthew worked. He would be gone the entire day and come home exhausted. He just wanted to cuddle with him all day. He couldn't remember the last time they were off together.

"I hate your stupid job," Lovino grumbled, rolling off him.

"Oh, Lovi, it's okay. I'll be off tomorrow," Matthew smiled and kissed him.

"Yeah, well…" Lovino glared at the wall.

"You know, you could take a shower with me this morning," Matthew smirked rolling over to Lovino, who blushed.

"Fuck that. I was trying to sleep. You know how much I love sleep, Mattie," Lovino smirked, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"I know, but do you love it more than," Matthew kissed him, "sex?"

"Yes, actually," Lovino said trying not to smile.

He could feel himself breaking, the muscles giving way to the playfulness bubbling up. He pulled the blanket over his head and pretended to be grumpy. It got harder and harder to keep from bursting with laughter as Matthew pawed at the blanket, trying to find a way to get Lovino to come with him.

"Fine. Have it your way, ya spoiled brat," Matthew joked.

Lovino peeked out of the blanket and watched as Matthew pulled out a pair of scrubs from their closet. Today he had picked out a black top with planets on it. He always had the cutest scrubs being a pediatric ER nurse. Matthew threw the uniform over his shoulder and went into the bathroom.

Lovino got out of the bed and undressed quickly before sneaking into the bathroom and slipping into the shower. He grabbed Matthew's hips as the man let the water run over his face. Lovino laughed as Matthew jumped and spun around. He shook his head before smirking.

"I thought you'd rather sleep," Matthew said narrowing his eyes, jovially.

"Well I changed my mind, see, because you're sooooo needy. I am just a really nice boyfriend. You better not complain about me again," Lovino smiled before running his hands down Matthew's sides until they rested on the man's hips and kissed him.

Matthew pulled Lovino closer kissing him hard. Lovino pulled back after a moment and trailed kisses down his neck and chest before returning to his lips. Lovino smirked and picked up a luffa before lathering his lover up with soap.

The men lathered each other, stealing kissing and touches. They couldn't help giggling at first. It had been a while since they enjoyed a morning together like this. They spoke softly and only touched with fingertips as the water washed away the slippery soak that made this sort of thing dangerous. Matthew had grabbed the silicon lube from the shower rack, kept safely in case there was a moment of spontaneity.

It wasn't often that they did this sort of thing. Sex was usually limited to their bedroom, though occasionally the two men would be spontaneous. Lovino loved the rather odd positions that were required. He wasn't quite sure why, but the creativity involved made things more fun.

He panted as he felt Matthew thrusting in and out of him. He closed his eyes as his legs began to quiver. He rested his forehead against the cool trying hard to allow the moment to last as long as possible. The feeling of Matthew's hand on his hip and the other sliding up and down his cock was more than he could take. Matthew's lips pressing against his back, shoulder, and neck before he felt the suckling and the man's tongue on the skin.

It was over before he knew it. Matthew kissed him softly before wrapping a towel around him and bopping his nose. Lovino rolled his eyes and leaned against Matthew as he slid his towel on. Matthew held him for a moment, resting his chin on the smaller man's head.

"Shit…" Matthew pulled away so quickly that Lovino stumbled a bit.

"What the fuck, Mattie? Are you trying to kill me? Goddamn…"

"Sorry, Lovi. I just realized we took longer than I expected. I'm going to be late! Do you know how annoying it is when you've been on shift for twelve hours and the person coming in for you is late?" Matthew gasped as he pulled his clothes on. He kissed Lovino and ran out door before Lovino could even process what was going on.

The man sighed and rolled his eyes. He pulled on pajama bottoms and and black tee shirt before heading to the kitchen to make some coffee. He bit his lip and stared out the window. Matthew hadn't had coffee. He'd probably have some shitty coffee they made in the break room. He thought about going to bring some to him, but the sight of the overcast sky that was just barely being lit by the morning sun and the dull shine of the freshly fallen snow was enough to make him reconsider. Matthew wasn't picky.

Lovino made himself a cup and sipped it slowly. He decided he'd make something nice for dinner, but for now he was going to take full advantage of the weekend. Sleep, grade papers with a bottle of wine (he really couldn't get through grading without it), clean a bit, before making his love the best dinner they had shared in a few weeks. A candlelight dinner seemed so wonderful after such a productive day.

* * *

><p>Lovino had prepared a beautiful dinner for Matthew and set in the oven to keep it warm. Matthew wasn't due to be back for about thirty minutes. He cursed himself under his breath for starting dinner too early. He set the table with a white lace table cloth with their best glassware. He placed a bottle of wine in the freezer to keep it chilled before putting two candles on the table. Everything was set for perfection.<p>

He yawned and stretched. He could lay down for a bit. He kicked of his slippers and collapsed faced down in his bed. He wished he had made the decision to sleep all day instead of do work. He closed his eyes as he breathed slowly against the pillow.

"You're still in bed?" Matthew laughed.

Lovino pushed himself up and blushed. He hated being caught in a seemingly lazy situation. He turned over and rubbed his eyes.

"Hey, fuck you. I was tired, okay? Don't judge me."

"I wasn't," Matthew said softly.

Lovino looked up and noticed Matthew's downtrodden demeanor. His head hung slight, shoulders slumped, eye glued to the floor with tears shining in them. His lips were sucked in as he changed changed slowly out of his scrubs and into some pajamas. Lovino jumped up and went to him.

"Mattie, are you okay?" Lovino asked, cupping Matthew's face as he searched his eyes.

"I...I'll be okay, Lovi," Matthew gave a weak smile.

"Talk to me, Mattie."

"I just saw a lot of bad things today, is all. Can I just lay with you?"

"Of course. I have a dinner planned when you feel well enough, but for now let's just cuddle."

Lovino led Matthew to be the bed and sat down, leaning against the headboard. Matthew laid top of him, crying into his chest silently as Lovino held him tightly, whispering comforting words to him. Lovino kissed his temple occasionally as he rubbed his back and ran his fingers through his boyfriend's hair.

As a high school history teacher, Lovino had his fair share of sad stories about his student's home life. A kid being abused, another kicked out. He couldn't imagine being in Matthew's shoes seeing kids suffering and traumatic injuries. He saw kids die before his eyes despite doing CPR for an hour and watching as the kid was shocked. He pumped full of medication as everyone in the room worked together to save every kid who came through. He saw the kids who'd been abused so badly they required surgery. Most days Matthew came home smiling and cheerful, but there were days like today where he'd come home and want to be held as he dealt with seeing the worst cards of the world being dealt out to mere children.

Matthew spoke softly to Lovino about the horrors of his day, making special care not to give any information that could cost him his license. Lovino listened silently, continuing to comfort Matthew. After he had gotten everything out, he hugged Lovino around the shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"I love you so much," Matthew whispered.

"Ti amo tanto," Lovino smiled.

They laid there for a bit longer before Matthew stood up, pulling Lovino to his feet before smiling and wrapping his arms around his waist as he asked about the meal that Lovino had prepared. He loved the Italian's cooking. It was always delicious and fit into any romantic night.

Lovino smiled and pulled Matthew behind him to the kitchen. He sat him down at the table and lit the candles before warming the plates in the microwave and placing one in front of Matthew and other at his seat. He pulled out the wine and poured some in both of their cups before sitting down.

They ate relatively quietly, speaking occasionally about things they heard or saw. They talked about their families and what they were up to. It was comfortable. Lovino talked about his day and what he had done while Matthew joked that the man had stayed in bed all day and should stop lying. It ultimately ended in Lovino throwing his garlic bread at the taller man who laughed and threw it back. It went back and forth before Lovino finally broke into laughter when it hit him square in the mouth as he was talking.

"You're such an idiot," Matthew laughed.

"I know you are, but what am I?" Lovino raised his eyebrows before going to back to eating.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you so much for the follows, favorites, and reviews. I love this pairing and I love writing it. The fact that there are people who are also enjoying it means so much. Please let me know if you saw any grammaticalspelling errors. **_

_**Please review! **_


	3. Chapter 2

Lovino arranged the logs in the fireplace before lighting up the kindling. The man sat back and watched for a moment as the flames licked the logs. There was something beautifully artistic about the way fire worked. It was so destructive, yet it was so enticing. Fire, though its wild and destructive nature, had numerous benefits. It gave way to warmth, cooking, light, protection in the woods, new evergreens, and it fertilized the land. Lovino loved fire. He found the colors to be breathtaking. It reminded him of something that Feliciano would paint beautifully on a canvas and parade it around.

He closed the screen and dusted his hands off before going into the kitchen to help Matthew with breakfast. He laughed as he found his boyfriend covered in flour. It was a common occurrence that Matthew would make a mess when he cooked, but Lovino never failed to find it funny just how Matthew had managed a mess. This time flour had dusted his face, hair, and clothing.

Matthew looked up and smiled at the Italian, his indigo eyes twinkling. He looked back at the bowl before turning on the mixer sending flour and batter flying, most of it going in Matthew's face. The man jumped back and laughed.

"I turned it too high," he explained turning it down.

"I don't give a fuck how messy you get or make the kitchen as long as you clean it up and the food is decent," Lovino smirked, pulling Matthew to him by his hips.

"My pancakes are the best and you know it," Matthew smiled, hugged Lovino tightly around the shoulders.

"Yeah, you know they're my favorite."

Lovino winked and pecked his cheek before jumping up on the counter and watching Matthew laddal batter on the griddle. Matthew had think down to an artform. He somehow managed to make flawless pancakes with each one being the same color and size. It had blown Lovino's mind the first time he'd seen it, though he supposed it was to be expected with how poorly Matthew's father cooked. Both he and his brother had learned to cook from their mother and did very well.

After a moment, Lovino slid off the counter and began to make freshly squeezed orange juice and coffee. Juicing the oranges made him relaxed. It was a very good stress reliever. The days he came home from work and didn't feel like drinking, he'd just crush oranges on the juicer. He found it healthy in more than one way. He put the juice into cups at set them on the table before placing a couple plates down.

"Let's eat by the fire place. I can be like a romantic inside picnic."

"It's pancakes?"

"So? Perhaps we can have some time together after and I know how much you hate the cold," Matthew cooed.

Lovino's cheek screamed red. He hated how easily he blushed and how often. He rolled his eyes and walked to the linen closet to retrieve a blanket for them to sit on. He laid it out on the floor and set plates, cups, and condiments for the breakfast in the center. He sat down as Matthew set a steaming plate of pancakes on the blanket and sat opposite Lovino, giving him a warm smile.

"You did a great job setting this all up."

"I know," Lovino smiled into his cup of juice.

"So how was grading the tests? Did your students make you proud?" Matthew smiled as he ate a bite of pancakes.

"Oh my god, Matthew, they hurt me. I want to go find all of my high school teachers and give them hugs. I mean I stand up there for an hour and a half every period, four periods a fucking day and teach. I try to keep it cool and shit, right? I let them go to the bathroom without asking. I treat them like adults, ya know? They want respect, I give it to them. I expect them to respect me back. If they don't want to listen to me and want to take a nap, cool. If they'd rather read, I'm okay with that. All I ask is that they fucking study for their tests. I don't give homework because that's bullshit. They have other classes and I hate spending my Saturday working, so it's the best of both worlds. For the love of god, I just want them to learn this shit! It's fucking important! History repeats itself, Mattie! I show them patterns because remember in high school all we ever whined about it when we were going to use that useless information? Turns out, it's not useless!"

Lovino rolled his eyes and ate some of his food before continuing. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Matthew truly was an amazing cook. He always got them fluffy and the perfect combination of the sweet buttery flavor of the cake mixed with the sweet flavor of the maples syrup perfect. He could eat Matthew's breakfast every day for the rest of his life. He took a sip of coffee to wash away the sugary flavor with the rich and deliciously bitter taste.

"So anyway, I'm grading their fucking test. The multiple choice section was okay. I mean some of them obviously were guessing, but they thought it through. I had a couple students decide to be cute and not try. Yeah, okay. Have fun when the world is falling apart and you don't know why. Then we get to the short answer. Now, Mattie, I'm asking for a word or phrase and they need fucking dictionaries. You know there are some dipshits who I don't know if they're playing cute or are just not trying or are fucking idiots, but like Spanish is not a country. Mexican is not a language and holy hell, Mexico is not Spain and it never fucking was. It was New Spain, but was it ever Spain? No." Lovino sighed loudly. "Then we get to the essays. Matthew, I don't get it. I just...they're taught sentence structure from the time they are in like what, second grade? Well let's throw that out the window. I give them the fucking option of bullets if they're too damn lazy to write, but do they seize the opportunity? No. You want to know where the grades ranged? Fucking twenty to sixty. I mean I had a few of my really high achieving students making ninety-somethings. Fuck, Mattie. I gave them a review! The review was the fucking test! I went over it with them and gave them answers the period before the test. I answered questions and gave a small review before the test. They still failed! You know what tells me?"

Lovino's eyes flashed as the glanced up from his food to look at Matthew. Matthew was listening intently, not even looking at his food as he shoveled it into his mouth quietly. Lovino's eye danced over over his lips that were being coated in syrup. He was kind of like a kid when he ate pancakes with how much he got all over his face. Lovino would have laughed had he not been so thoroughly annoyed.

"What's that?" Matthew asked.

"Either one, I'm not covering the material in an effective way. Two, I'm being too lenient with what the hell they do, even though I think that it's only right they they have freedom of choice and learn that if they don't fucking pay attention and don't study later or ask questions during tutoring hours that they are going to fail and they're wasting my time and theirs. Three, they're fucking dumb. Or four, those little shits aren't trying."

Lovino threw his hands in the air and leaned back slightly to emphasize his point before he sighed and shook his head. He rubbed his face with his hands and glanced at the fire.

"Maybe they don't take me seriously? I mean, I'm not that much older than them, not really. I'm twenty-four and they're like sixteen. I just...I just want them to learn and to care. I know I didn't give a shit when I was that age. I was getting the shit knocked out of me. Feli was just so damn perfect that it pissed me off. Nonno was always comparing us and asking why I couldn't stay out of trouble like Feli. I started asking more about my parents because I just wanted to fucking know why they're in prison for the rest of their fucking lives and we're not allowed to see them. That got Nonno angry. We'd get into fights. Then there was the whole coming out and like fuck. I could barely sleep at night. So much was going on and the last thing on earth I cared about was paying attention to some adult talk about something happened years ago. I felt like they didn't fucking care and I want my students to know that I care. That's why I let them sleep and read and draw and do whatever the fuck they want as long as they're quiet in my class while I stand up there and try to teach them something so that for an hour and a half, they have control of their life. I try to incorporate interesting things. I…"

Lovino couldn't finish. He felt pathetic that he was going on about this. He shouldn't be whining to Matthew about how unhappy he was with the work of his students. Matthew saw kids die and have their lives changed forever. He had no right to complain. His heart just ached because he cared so much and they failed. He felt like he failed them. It was painful to say the least.

Matthew put a hand on his arm and rubbed. Lovino looked up to find Matthew smiling warmly at him, his eyes searching. Lovino felt himself calm slightly. Matthew had always had a calming affect on him. Lovino felt his pulse return to normal. The tears that had been threatening waned.

"It's okay, Lovi. Just talk to them. I know you're open with your students and you always push for them to be successful. You come home with stories about one of your students doing something amazing or getting something they worked for. They share things with you because they trust you. I can see how much you care about them. You root for them. You are their biggest cheerleader. The kids that get picked on, you help them. I would have loved a teacher like you in high school to be honest."

"Yeah?"

"Of course," Matthew smiled and kissed Lovino softly. "Those kids are so lucky to have you as their teacher."

"Damn right," Lovino muttered.

The men finished their breakfast and cleared the blanket before Matthew ended up begging Lovino go outside to play in the snow with him promising that it would be enjoyable. He even promised to make Lovino his special hot chocolate that he loved so much. It took Matthew almost an hour to convince the Italian why it would be fun to play in the snow. Extra time was added as Matthew laughed at Lovino trying to get properly bundled up to for the snow, but soon they were out in the shimmering white wonderland that had gripped the park across from their apartment building.

The two walked arm in arm. Lovino, shivering and cursing as they walked, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Matthew was content in a light jacket with a scarf and gloves. Lovino found him to be insane since it took a long sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, a hoodie, and a heavy coat, a scarf and gloves to face the cold. He hated this place. He missed the warmth of Italy. Matthew picked up some snow.

"You know how Alfred's a little asshole?" Matthew asked.

"Yeah."

"Well I always loved when it snowed or when we went to visit family in England and France because he was a little bitch who couldn't stand the cold. He'd stay inside playing video games until Mama and Dad would throw him outside. As soon as he'd come outside I'd do this."

Matthew stopped and Lovino turned around to receive a snowball to the face. The man narrowed his eyes and took a few deep breaths as he wiped the snow from his face. Matthew was laughing hysterically, almost falling over. Lovino pushed him and smirked when Matthew fell in the snow.

"You're a fucking dick," Lovino shouted and grabbed a snowball, throwing at at the laughing man.

"It...It always started a snowball fight," Matthew laughed, throwing another ball of ice at Lovino as he jumped to his feet and ran.

"I fucking hate you!" Lovino declared, picking up more snow and launching it.

"I love you too, Lovino!"

"This means fucking war!"

The two ran around the park launching snow at each other and diving away to prevent being hit. Despite his chest burning from the cold and his cheeks numb, Lovino refused to give up. He had to win their fight. Matthew had always teased him about how much he hated the cold and this time Lovino was determined to set the record straight.

Matthew held up his arms, breathing hard and laughing. He called a truce. Lovino threw the snow in his hand in Matthew's face before pouncing on him. They landed in the snow and Lovino pressed his lips to Matthew's. This dork could make him do things he never dreamed possible and he loved him.

"This means I win," Lovino gloated with a smile.

"Yes, I believe it does. Good job!"

Lovino stood up and brushed the white powder off his clothing, shivering. He looked around the empty park as he blew warm air into his hand in an attempt to warm his face. He was just about to ask if they could go home when he noticed that Matthew was still laying in the snow.

"What the fuck are you doing, Mattie?"

"I'm making a snow angel."

"Mattie…" Lovino rolled his eyes and waited for him to finish.

"Help me up. I don't want to ruin it," Matthew requested as he held out his hands.

Lovino pulled his boyfriend from the cold ground. Matthew moved awkwardly, throwing the shorter man off balance causing him to stumble slightly. There was a indentation in the snow the size of Matthew that did look much like an angel. Lovino was impressed. It was the first time that he'd actually seen one look nice.

"Lovi! Lovi, it's perfect!" Matthew smiled, throwing his arms around the man.

"Well you are an angel, aren't you?"  
>"Aw, Lovi!" Matthew planted a kiss on Lovino's cheek.<p>

"Now can we please go back inside? I'm freezing my ass off and I kind of need it."

Matthew laughed and agreed. He grabbed Lovino suddenly much to the man's distress and carried him bridal style back to the apartment, Lovino protesting the entire distance. When Matthew let him down, Lovino huffed and avoided Matthew's kiss before going to change out of his wet clothes.

Matthew came in with two mugs of peppermint hot white chocolate. He handed one with a candy cane inside to Lovino before setting his on the bedside table. He undressed and Lovino sat on the bed, sipping the drink letting it warm him.

"I know you like peppermint, so I gave you the last of the candy canes from Christmas. I'll need to get some more," Matthew informed him.

"Don't worry about it," Lovino smiled.

Matthew sat down next to him and took a drink of his. He laid his head on Lovino's shoulder and sighed.

"I wish we could freeze time, Lovino. It's been such a perfect day. I don't want it to end."

"We could lay by the fire and tell stories," Lovino suggested with a childish look of excitement playing on his face.

"Well of course," Matthew laughed. "You'll have to start another fire though."

"Or you could, Mr. boy scout."

"Uh, excuse me. I made it to Eagle Scout."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse the fuck out of me. We have an Eagle Scout in the room," Lovino joked, causing Matthew to giggle.

Lovino wanted the day to last forever as well, but he knew it would have to end soon. Tomorrow would be another day closer to the warmth of spring and he was looking forward to it. He was tired of cold. He was tired of ice. He was just tired of it all. Tomorrow was another day of trying to get sixteen year olds to care about something else. He knew that tomorrow wasn't promised, but he looked forward to another day of waking up in Matthew's arms or with Matthew in his.

"Let's go," Lovino smiled, pulling Matthew to the living room.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading. Please leave a review! <strong>_

_**Next chapter will be teacher Lovi being sassy and we'll meet a new character. ^^ I think I'm going to do about five really cute chapters before things start getting suspicious.**_


	4. Chapter 3

_**Sorry there isn't any interaction with Lovi and Matt in this one. It's establishing Lovino as a teacher since much of the story will take place in this setting as well.**_

* * *

><p>Lovino stood outside his classroom as students trickled in before the final bell signifying the start of class. He wasn't looking forward to this period starting. He would have to confront them on their performance and he <em>hated<em> to be that guy, but it was his job to make sure they were learning and keeping up. He wanted so badly for them to understand. He had a plan, but he was so anxious to execute it.

He had his hands shoved into his dark jeans pockets in hopes that the fabric would soak up the sweat that was being produced by his palms. His heart was in his throat, his mouth dry. He kept kicking a the floor and trying hard to keep his face cheerful. He hated being asked if something was bothering him. He'd only been a teacher two years. If he was already showing signs of weakness, he was sure the other faculty would make a big show about new teachers and not being able to handle stress. What did they know anyway?

A few of his students tried to talk him about the test, but he motioned for them to go into the classroom. One protested and he snapped that he would talk to the entire class about their tests and that he needed to sit down. He watched the students trudge inside to their seats and plop down. He took comfort in knowing that they at least seemed to care and they realized they hadn't done well. It showed him that they weren't just apathetic sixteen year olds.

"Tough exam, Lovi?" a cheerful voice asked next to him.

Lovino glanced up to the see the Spanish teacher from across the hall standing next to him. The man's eyes smile was bright enough to blind the world and his green eyes sparkled just as bright. He was probably the only teacher in this school who didn't find him to be a complete joke. Despite the fact that he annoyed the hell out of Lovino, he didn't mind talking to him. At least he didn't feel like he was in high school all over again.

"Yeah. They fucking failed it. I didn't even make it hard! You need to do your fucking job and teach them that Mexican is not a language."

"Oh my," the man laughed. "I suppose that is a problem."

"It is. It's a big problem, Antonio."

The bell rang and Lovino groaned as he leaned against the wall. He was not ready for this. Antonio pat him on the shoulder wishing him luck before entering his classroom. Lovino straightened his posture and walked into the classroom, closing the door firmly to get the attention of his class.

"Mr. Vargas-"

"No talking!" he snapped as he leaned against the next in the middle of the front of the classroom with his arms crossed. "I don't to hear a word from anyone unless I call on you. Can you do that?"

"Yes, sir," they mumbled.

"What is my rule?" he asked pointing to a student on the left side of the classroom.

"Respect and be respected."

"Exactly. What does that mean?" he pointed to another.

"You teach, we can do what we want as long as we're silent so those who want to pay attention can."

"Right. And what is the condition?"

"If we choose to not pay attention, we need to study on our own."

"Good. Now, do I assign anything outside of class?"

"No."

"Okay, so you understand my terms and conditions of this course. Here's what I don't get," he held up the tests, "out of the the twenty-six of you in this class, there were only three passing grades and they were in the nineties. Everyone else failed. Now, see, that doesn't sit well we me. I stand up here and I teach. I try my hardest to make it interesting. Am I doing something wrong? Do you not get what I'm saying? Ask me questions. I have tutoring hours before and after school. I am usually here during lunch. Tell me, is it me? Show of hands."

Lovino glanced around the classroom. His students were all looking at their desks and fidgeting. He hated seeing them so down, but he had to figure out what needed to change. He had to find a way to better serve them. Not one hand went up.

"Okay, so I guess it's not me. Do you not understand the content? Are you having difficulties at home? Stress? Are you not sleeping enough? Not getting adequate nutrition? I'm not going to ask you to raise your hands, but if that's the case, please come see me and I'll help you as best as I can. And if it's that you aren't trying, well stop wasting my time. Tell me right now and I'll just fail you and you won't even have to come to class because I am not going to be grading your shit work. A few of you thought it was cute to play dumb on the test. There is not a single one of you in here that is stupid, but some of you want to play like you are. If your precious reputation will be tarnished if you get a good grade, come talk to me and we'll come up with a grading system where you can do well, but the number on your test will look like you're failing. Honestly, I don't get that shit, but whatever it takes. You know it's not cool to play dumb. There are people who have a fucking hard time learning and they try their ass off and still make bad grades and they are not stupid. Their mind works differently. And for you to sit there in your seats thinking you want to get those grades, I don't understand."

Lovino shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He hated this. He wanted them to understand, to learn. He didn't understand what the issues was. He didn't make them remember the dates or names, though he desperately wanted them to and encouraged it. He wanted them to understand events and what led up to things happening. He wanted them to know the history because that was the real gold mine. That was what repeated itself. The names and dates could be changed and the events were what were most important.

"Please, just let me know. Help me help you, okay? Because this is important. You may not think so, but it is. You know how many revolutions were sparked after the American Revolution because a few people decided to see an injustice and call out a huge power on their bullshit. It inspired people. That same shit still inspires people and lead people to have revolutions. You may not know where that is coming from, but a group of small people taking on a large, oppressive group and challenge it. It has changed the way we think in the world. It has shaped our society. The women's suffrage, the Civil Rights Movement, the Youth Movement, and now it's the LGBTA Rights and acceptance Movement. You know things aren't perfect, but you look at three generations since the Civil Rights Movement and there is a huge change. And those examples are just in one fucking country! Think about the world! It takes one person's voice to make a difference and if you could only understand!" Lovino shook his head. "Now somebody raise your hand and tell me why you are not doing what you need."

A student raised their hand. Lovino smiled. Finally, a response.

"Yes?"

"I don't see the point in learning this crap. You gave examples, but Mr. Vargas, but none of that affects us directly. Why should I care about something that I'll never be apart of?"

"That's a very interesting question. You're all, what, sixteen? Developmentally speaking, you are very egocentric and you want to know how thing affect you. I should have realized this in my approach. Okay. So history is what happens in the past, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So when I was sixteen, I hated being in school, much like most of you. I had only lived in this country for two and a half years. I had one friend. I had issues going on at home. Hell, I'll be honest with you. Teenagers like that shit. My grandfather held my brother on a golden pedestal and compared me to him every fucking chance he got. Sure, he loved us both, but I was sixteen and I didn't see it that way. I was so jealous of my brother and it made me so angry. My parents are in some prison in Italy for the rest of their life and I wanted to know why and I wanted to know why I was not allowed to see them. That caused a lot of arguing with my grandfather. I was realizing that I was gay and that added so much fear and just a bunch of negative emotions. I was barely sleeping. I couldn't eat. I come to school and fall asleep in class and get detention which caused more problems at home. I would get picked on and occasionally beat up and what happened? Oh yeah, I got detention because someone decided to mess with me. I was grounded at home. I was an angry, sleep deprived kid who didn't give a shit about anything."

Lovino glanced at the room to see the attentive and shocked faces. He had them. He took a deep breath. He had never felt so exposed. He didn't know if he was crossing a line, but he didn't care. He was finally getting through to them.

"So I go to college for art originally. My freshman year, I'm taking art history and something just clicked. I saw patterns. I thought to myself, you know history is important! So I changed my major to history because I finally saw the importance and I chose education as my track because there was not a single teacher who I felt gave a shit. I wanted to be the change I wanted to see. I end up back in high school, the place I hated most, because I want to make a difference. It's because of my experiences as a sixteen year old, that I run class this way and that I am accessible in the way that I am. _That_ is why you should care about this shit. _That_ directly affects you in a way that you feel. Everything in history affects you, but you may not be in a stage in your life where you can see it. Does that makes sense?"

Lovino looked around the room. Students were nodding their heads in understanding. He was rather relieved that they all had reflective looks on their faces. He could see them actually processing what he was telling them. He was about to move on to the lesson when a student in the back raised his hand slowly.

"Yes?"

"Why are your parents in prison for the rest of their lives in Italy?"

"Murder, kidnapping, theft, domestic terrorism, you know that shit the mafia does. Now today we're going to talk about World War I."

Lovino chuckled to himself at all the gasps. It wasn't like he even knew. His grandfather refused to speak of it. The names Metteo and Elisa were banned from their house. Neither he nor Feliciano were allowed to ask questions. He had theories, but nothing confirmed.

"Are-are you serious?" the kid asked. The blood had completely drained from his.

Lovino chuckled. "No. I'm just kidding. Well, maybe. I don't know why. Don't ask questions about my private life. Anyway, World War I…"

* * *

><p>The class ended with Lovino sitting in his chair at his computer to check his emails and write lesson plans for his free period. He checked his phone and smirked at a picture Matthew had sent him. He was about to reply when he noticed one of the students hanging back.<p>

"Casey, are you okay?" he asked, noticing the girl tugging on her shirt sleeves.

"Mr. Vargas, would you mind giving me a pass of next period. I need to talk to you." The girl pushed a braid out of her face and stared at him with scared dark brown eyes.

"Yeah, of course," Lovino said softly.

He glanced to make sure the door was open. He had to be careful being such a young teacher. He had the girl sit in a desk and he sat opposite her.

"What up?" he asked with a smile.

"Um, I, do you know how I can get help?" she asked as she fidgeted.

"For what?" he inquired.

"I have been having problems reading since I was little and it's getting worse. I am trying, Mr. Vagas. I just can't read well. I get frustrated and give up. I told my parents and they don't take me seriously. I'm sick of failing. I'm not stupid. I just...I don't understand when I read." A few tears fell down the girl's cheeks.

"Hey now, don't cry. It's okay. I'm very glad you came to me about this. That takes a lot of courage to do. I'm proud of you. You noticed a problem and instead of keeping quiet, you spoke up. That's the only way to change things. If you go to the counselor, they can help you get tested for issues with reading and learning. After that we can all work together on ways to help you achieve your best," Lovino said, encouragingly.

"Really?" Casey sniffed.

"Yes, of course. Would you like a pass the counselor now?"

"Um, I...okay."

"You can wait in here until you feel ready. I'll fill out the pass and wait to put the time. Just ask for a pass to class."

Lovino slid off the desk and went back to his computer. He pulled out the green pad of hall passes and filled it out before letting her know he had it. He opened up his email and read a sweet message from Matthew encouraging him to get through the day without throwing something at a student. He laughed at the sheer audacity before replying and getting back to scheduling meetings on his calendar.

He kept an eye on Casey who was on her phone now. She seemed to have calmed down a bit. She was still a little distressed. He hoped so much that she'd get the help she needed. She pocketed her phone and gathered her stuff together before approaching the desk. He handed her the pass.

"Thank you, Mr. Vagas. You're the best teacher ever. Wish me luck," she smiled weakly.

"I'll give you something better." Lovino straightened and leaned forward. " In Italian we say in bocca la lupa when we're wishing luck. I think it means more. It literally translates into the mouth of the wolf. You can't say thank you. You say crepi lupo which means may the wolf die. It builds confidence. Say it, crepi lupo."

"Crepi lupo."

"Buona! In bocca la lupa, Casey!"

"Crepi lupo, Mr. Vargas," her smile now strong and her head raised a little higher as she almost skipped out of the class.

Lovino smiled and leaned back in his chair. This is why he became a teacher. He couldn't wait to tell Matthew about helping one of his students in such a monumental way. He wished Matthew could have been there to witness it. He knew that he'd helped Casey in more way than one and it made all the bullshit he had to deal with worth it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I hope y'all enjoyed it. Please review.<strong>_


	5. Chapter 4

The second Lovino walked in the door, Matthew knew that he had had a great day at work He knew the man could be firm with his beloved students and still find something successful that he had done that made him smile. Matthew looked up from where he was reading on the couch and greeted Lovino with a warm smile.

"Hey, Lovi!"

"Ciao, mio amore," Lovino called as he wandered in their room to change out of his work clothes into something more comfortable.

Matthew walked into the room to find Lovino kicking of his jeans, his shirt unbuttoned, yet still hanging on. His eyes ran over him. He was so beautiful. He watched silently as Lovino pulled on his pajama bottoms before pushing off his shirt and pulling on one of his soft cotton long sleeve shirts that Matthew felt clung and hung in all the right places.

Lovino caught him watching and smiled. He walked over, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing him gently. Matthew put a finger under his chin to keep Lovino in position. Their lips pressed again and Lovino pushed back after a moment and sat on the bed picking up the remote.

"Can we watch a movie?" Lovino asked as he flipped through Netflix.

"First tell me about your day. How'd it go with the class?"

"Oh, wow, Matthew it was amazing! I told them what was up and they were all paying attention to me! I think I really got through to them. There were a few students who came up to me. And Mattie, Mattie, one girl may have an undiagnosed learning disability and I helped her! It just, they just need someone to be there for them. The need someone to believe in them. When I came out and my dad was so calm and supportive, I just lost it and cried forever because finally I felt loved. Every kid deserves that."

Matthew watched Lovino talk about his students and how much he loved them and cared for them. The way Lovino's golden green eyes sparkled and his face lit up. It was times like this that Matthew cherished. Most people saw Lovino as moody. The little firecracker went off on people all the time. It was only when he felt truly safe that he walls came down and he opened up. The times when they were alone together, when he'd see the softer side of this man. He knew how he smiled when he talked about something he loved. He knew how he would laugh and giggle when he was amused or excited or nervous. Matthew could recognize every emotion in his boyfriend and it filled him with content.

"What?" Lovino asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"You're looking at me funny," Lovino laughed and tried to mimic him.

"I just love you is all. I was thinking what a great father you'll be to our kids."

As soon as the words left Matthew's mouth, Lovino narrowed his eyes. He chewed his lip and glanced to the side. Matthew's heart raced. He hadn't meant to say that. His eyes got wide and he jumped back.

"What did you say?" Lovino asked slowly.

"Nothing. Just that you'll be a good father when you have kids. If you have kids. I know you want kids. Maybe our kids. I don't know. Do you want cake? I made cake."

"Matthew Bonnefoy, are you-"

"Tickle fight!"

Matthew lunged at Lovino, tickling him instantly earning kicks and punches as the man laughed underneath him. Matthew knew Lovino would forget the whole thing in a moment. For now he'd just enjoy his laughter and pay attention to when the tickling was getting close to it being too much. He pulled away as he noticed Lovino's laughs begin to fade.

He sat up and was immediately hugged by Lovino. He snuggled up to Matthew until the man laid back in the bed. Lovino wrapped his arms around his shoulders and rested his head against Matthew's chest, his legs curled up to Matthew's lap. He muttered something about Matthew putting on a movie as he snuggled closer. Matthew obliged, as he kissed the top of Lovino's head and rubbed circles on his back. He knew was stuck here until Lovino had finished.

Simply put, Lovino was not interested in sex. Cuddling was how he felt close to Matthew. He would get in moods where he was curl up to him and kiss him gently for hours, not speaking. Sometimes Matthew would think he was asleep only to have Lovino whimper when he went to move. He had noticed it in the beginning of their relationship.

The two had been dating two and a half years and Lovino never talked about sex, so Matthew didn't either. It wasn't until Matthew got up the courage to ask him about it that he noticed Lovino's confusion. He agreed to it and has not had a clue what to do. Matthew had thought it was just nerves at first. He had laid the boy back, kissing him and touching before prepping him, and eventually entering him. Lovino had enjoyed it, that much Matthew knew. Lovino always enjoyed sex, the thing was that he just didn't get it. He didn't understand why sex needed to be in a relationship. He didn't understand why people wanted to do it even despite the fact that it felt good. He never felt close to Matthew. He just felt massive pleasure in different parts of his body that often became overwhelming. He didn't feel as though Matthew was there. He knew he was and he could feel him, but it wasn't intimate in his eyes.

Matthew on the other hand needed and craved sex. He never felt closer to his boyfriend than when he was inside him or the occasional times it was the other way around. Matthew loved to touch and kiss and fuck. He found sex to be natural and beautiful. Pleasure wasn't what drew Matthew to sex, no, it was the closeness, the intimacy. He liked being vulnerable with the one he loved. He didn't even think when he performed, he just did.

It wasn't until a month after they had moved in together about two years ago that he found Lovino crying softly after a passionate love making session. At first he thought he'd hurt him and was so concerned. Lovino hadn't said a word. Instead he had clung to him for dear life and just cuddled to him. He would plant soft, sweet kisses on Matthew's lips, cheeks, neck, and shoulders. Matthew had tried to speak, only to be hushed and met with silence. Matthew had held him and cuddled with him.

It wasn't until after that Lovino had discussed the issue. He felt strange and broken because he didn't understand why he didn't feel closer to him. He felt that he was drifting apart since they hadn't cuddled in so long. He felt so awkward with sex. He told Matthew he needed instruction because he didn't feel intimate with sex. He felt intimate with cuddling. He understood Matthew's desire and needs, and he wanted desperately to do what was needed. They made the agreement that they would be more open and satisfy each other.

Matthew was the only one to initiate sex, as never on Lovino's mind. When this happened, he'd tell Lovino in no uncertain terms what he wanted him to do. Lovino happily obliged. Cuddles afterward were mandatory. Either of them initiated cuddling, but Lovino set the time frame. He had explained it to Matthew as his form of climax. He would feel better and better the more the cuddled and if they stopped before he was done, he felt terrible and almost drained. He would be irritable and anxious for a bit, and sometimes he'd even cried over how badly he felt. Matthew knew that if they needed to do something, he would have to be sure to remind Lovino.

It was a nice system they'd worked out. They understood the other's needs. Despite understanding, Matthew found himself wishing that Lovino would initiate something more sexual than making out with him. He just once wanted Lovino to look at him hungrily, slam into the closest couch, chair, bed, wall, or floor and fuck him senseless. He ached for him to not have to be told what to do and just be spontaneous, but he knew it wasn't possible. It wasn't how Lovino's mind worked. He'd accepted that, but it didn't mean it wasn't hard at times.

Matthew glanced down at Lovino who was unbelievably still as Matthew played with his hair. His eyes were closed and his breathing was even. The man wanted to get up and move, but he wasn't sure if this was another case of him thinking Lovino was asleep, when in reality he wasn't. He shifted slightly and Lovino moved closer to him again. The taller man reached over to the nightstand to put on a different movie.

A whimper escaped Lovino and he pressed his lips to Matthew's before nuzzling back down. Matthew sighed with a soft smile and found a new movie. He had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to be here for a while longer. Perhaps he should order a pizza? But then what would happen if Lovino hadn't finished by the time it got there? He figured it'd be best to get Alfred or Feliciano to bring it to them, but Lovino hated people seeing him when he got like this.

Matthew decided to text Feliciano. Lovino would be less likely to be angry if his little brother saw him in this state than Alfred. He texted the details and asked for him to bring it in two hours just to be sure that Lovino had enough time. He set his phone down next to him and shifted so that Lovino was laying on his chest. The Italian looked up at him and kissed him gently before nuzzling him and hugging his torso tightly. Matthew couldn't help, but find him cute as hell when he got this way. He hugged the man closer before writing messages on his back with his finger. Lovino returned them. It was bliss.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thank you for reading. Please leave a review. <em>**


	6. Chapter 5

_**There will be smut in the second half of the chapter.**_

* * *

><p>Lovino was sitting at his desk grading papers while one of his class periods took a test. Since he had lectured all eight of his classes on their scores, he had seen a vast improvement. He had started offering extra credit essays and ended up with all but three students in all his classes doing it. He hadn't expected such enthusiasm. Now he was sitting here reading over them cursing himself, but also so proud at his students had taken the initiative.<p>

He reminded himself to do something to show how much he respected their decision. Pizza or ice cream might be a good choice. He would have to check for discounts through the school first. Feeding that many kids would be expensive if he got pizza. He wished he and Feliciano could just make it, but it was against the rules and he doubted these kids would get excited for _real_ pizza.

Lovino glanced up as he heard a knocking break the silence. All the students were looking up confused except for a few who had their heads down as the worked. Suddenly the door opened and a man in a suit walked in with flowes and candy. Lovino was about to kick him out in a very rude fashion for interrupting his class' concentration when the man spoke.

"Are you Lovino Vargas?" he asked with a happy tone to his voice.

"Yes, what the hell are you doing in my classroom? They are taking a test!" Lovino snapped, his arms crossed as he glared intensely at the man.

His mouth dropped when the man blew a tuning whistle and began to sing a very sappy letter about love and soulmates and Valentine's day. Lovino couldn't move. He was frozen as his face grew more and more red. He heard a few of his students giggling and talking, but he couldn't shush them. Finally the man got down on his knees and held the gifts in the air, his head bowed.

"Happy Valentine's Day with love. I love more than anything, amour. XOXO Matthew."

Lovino's hand flew to his mouth. This was so inappropriate! Matthew knew how he felt about surprises, especially at work and in public! One top of that his class had been interrupted by a singing man. He snatched the box of candy and flowers and demanded the man leave before he stormed to his desk. He was so embarrassed.

"Sorry," Lovino muttered.

He looked at the flowers and a small smiled came to his face. Tears threatened him as he realized that Matthew had taken such care in choosing what flowers went into it. For a moment he forgot that he was sitting in front of twenty-two high school sophomores. Matthew seemed to have paid attention and remembered Lovino's rant from four years ago about how flowers had meaning in Italy, and he was tired of seeing people just getting whatever looked pretty without thinking it through. He examined each flower with a smile.

Alstroemeria, the flower of friendship. Amaryllis for beauty. Aster, red and white carnations, red and white chrysanthemums, daisies, gardenia, and lilacs representing various kinds of love. Gladiolus for faithfulness. Hydrangea for heartfelt emotions. It was all so perfect. He wanted to hug Matthew and cuddle with him for hours. He wanted to please Matthew in the way that Matthew expressed love despite how he felt about it.

He opened the chocolate and popped one in his mouth before his eyes grew wide and he looked at the box. He recognized the name of his favorite chocolates from his childhood from a little shop in Italy. They weren't mass produced, but specially made in the store. He thought it was impossible to get these. Matthew had really outdone himself. He knew how much Lovino missed his home. It had only been in passing on Christmas that Feliciano and Lovino had mentioned it to Matthew. They had been speaking in Italian and Matthew had come in the room, so they felt the need to let him know what they had been talking about.

Lovino had planned something for Matthew when he got home, but the idea of Matthew getting embarrassed at work the same as him before falling in love all over again seemed to be a great idea. He got online and edited the delivery instructions.

"Do I have all the tests?" Lovino asked as he made sure all the papers were neat, putting a sticky note with the class period on the front and a clip to keep them together.

There were twenty minutes before the end of class and he thought it'd be a good time to praise them on their work on the extra credit. He also wanted to formally apologize on Matthew's behalf for the interruption. After receiving a confirmation that all the exams were in he proceeded.

"And if the test scores are low, I will be giving ten point extra for the distraction,' he finished. "Again I am so sorry. I had no idea. You have about ten minutes to yourself."

"Who's Matthew?" a girl asked just as Lovino was going back to his seat.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Lovino smirked.

"Mr. Vargas!" the girl whined.

"It's obviously his boyfriend, dumbass," another student retorted.

"Oh, that's so sweet! How long have been together?" another asked.

"S-Six years," Lovino mumbled, feeling his face grow hot with the collective awing of the room.

"Mr. Vargas?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to go home and fuck him?" a boy asked.

"Excuse me?" Lovino's eyes widened, his face now on fire.

"You totally are! Look at his face! Are you pitcher or catcher? I get the feeling it's pitcher. You're too feisty for anything else."

"That is extremely inappropriate!" Lovino snapped covering his face.

He knew this was going to be all over the school. There'd be angry parents emailing him and calling. He'd probably have students pulled from his class. He'd get into so much trouble. What if he got fired? Dammit, Matthew!

"Aw, come on, Mr. Vargas!"

"My sex life is none of your fucking business. None of my damn personal life is! If I choose to share something is the only time you are able to know a damn thing!"

"Oh my god...You're the catcher!"

"What? Why are you even using fucking baseball euphemisms? That's so immature. No. It doesn't even work that way! There are some people who prefer one or the other, but it's not static! I mean, for some people maybe, but no. God, fuck, shut up!" Lovino buried his face in his arms.

"Are you going to cry?" another student asked in a concerned voice.

Lovino didn't want to respond. He couldn't control how his body reacted as much as he had tried since he was a child. His father told him men didn't cry so much, and that men didn't blush and wear their emotions on their sleeve. He and Feliciano were constantly told they needed to stop crying so easily, and that they needed to be less sensitive. He had always wanted to yell at him that he was trying and that his body just did things he couldn't control.

"Mr. Vargas?"

"Shut the hell up! No talking. I'm done. I told you it was inappropriate and you keep talking about it!" he snapped slapping the table.

"We were just talking. We thought you had an open dialogue with us," the student muttered.

"You don't get it, do you? I could get fired over this! I…" Lovino shook his head.

"Over what? Getting flowers and chocolate from your boyfriend? That's really stupid. My dad sends my mom roses. Mr. Carriedo gets cards from his wife and he sends her stuff. So do all the other teachers. Why would you get fired over it?"

"Because that's the fucking world we live in," Lovino sighed.

"It doesn't make sense," another student said.

"Okay, let me attempt to use this as something educational. You know how I talked about propaganda and mass hysteria leading to rumors and slander, and the way the media plays a role in how things work? We see it time and time again in history. Look at it this way, our society has set a structured idea of what is moral and immoral. They start saying things like that Mean Girls quote, 'If you have sex you will get pregnant, and you will die.' It's too keep things the way they want it to be. Who's they? Nobody remembers, so it's just general society. Now think of high school as a breeding ground for hysteria. You're in this classroom and you saw how this whole period played out. Now you go tell your friend and you may tweak something, intentional or not. Hell you might even fucking tell it exactly how you fucking saw it, but you didn't see it the same way as the person next to you due to your own interpretations, opinions, and bias. So you tell your friend and they tell their friend. Suddenly you have a game of telephone. Everyone's played that game. It's never the fucking right thing at the fucking end. It's twisted and distorted. Now say someone goes home and tells their parents the twisted story. Enough parents get angry. They're the media. They take the story and present it without checking first. The administration is the masses as well as the governing body that has the power to do something. They don't care what originally happened. They care what the parents are saying. They nip the problem right there. I get fired."

The class was silent. Lovino sighed and got on his computer to send an email. He had never heard the class so silent. He glanced up and blinked a few times. They all were in deep thought. He raised his eyebrows and went back to the computer.

"Mr. Vargas?"

"Hm?"

"Is it because you're gay? That's the thing that society made bad? And it's kind of like what the Nazis did to the Jews and everyone else who didn't fit their perfect race."

"Yeah," Lovino almost whispered as he typed.

"So we just don't say anything and you can keep your job?"

"Most likely."

"Then we're not going to say anything. You're the best teacher in this whole school. You're the only one who gives a shit about us. We don't want you fired. We'll be like those people who hid the Jews."

Lovino's mouth hung open a little as the entire class nodded in agreement. He stared down at the tests on the desk. World War II. They were making connections. They were seeing patterns. He wanted to sing from the rooftops that he had gotten a class of sixteen year olds to understand why it was important to learn this shit. He smiled down at the desk as the bell rang and kids filed out.

* * *

><p>Lovino put the finishing touches on his chocolate covered strawberries when Matthew walked in and snatched one off the counter. Lovino crossed his arms and frowned. He hadn't finished yet and besides, those were for later. Matthew wasn't even looking up from the counter at him.<p>

"Are you okay, Mattie?" Lovino asked, his arms dropping to his sides as he went to him.

"Yeah, I'm great. I loved the surprise. Thank you so much, babe," Matthew said softly with a smile, wrapping an arm around him and kissing him.

"Then why are you acting so strange?" Lovino licked the taste of strawberries off his lips as he held Matthew around the neck.

"I'm not; I just saw strawberries."

Matthew ran his hand down Lovino's arms until meeting his hands and lacing his fingers with the Italian's. Lovino studied his face for a moment before melting into him. He closed his eyes and just took him in for a moment. He could still smell the antiseptic on Matthew from work and a vague scent of rubber gloves under his cologne.

"Lovi, I know you're starting to want to cuddle, but I was hoping we could…" Matthew trailed off, running his hands under Lovino's shirt. "It's Valentine's Day."

"Okay," Lovino said softly. He wanted to hold him for hours, but he knew Matthew was looking forward to sex. He was okay with it as long as he could have cuddle time afterwards. An hour or two of intense physical pleasure before he nursed his emotional needs didn't seem bad.

"Fantastic!" Matthew smiled, taking Lovino by the hips kissing him and walking to the bedroom.

Matthew pushed Lovino back on the bed as he kicked off his scrubs. He crawled over to Lovino and pulled his shirt off, trailing kisses down his chest. Lovino closed his eyes focusing on the feeling of lips being pressed against him. Matthew slid off Lovino's pants slowly.

Lovino rolled his eyes. Matthew never wasted time anymore. He always seemed rushed to start. They never kissed anymore fully clothed. He knew it was because he wouldn't want to have sex anymore if the did that, but to be fair he really never cared to have sex.

His thoughts were broken with the cool air surrounding his crotch. He looked down to see Matthew throwing his boxers aside before laying back on top of him, rubbing himself against Lovino. He shuddered at the sensation. Matthew kissed him deeply, rubbing against him all the while. Lovino's body was so reactive. It sometimes made sex so intense, it was almost unbearable. He let out a moan against Matthew's lips as he started to get aroused. Matthew flipped them over so that Lovino was laying on top of him.

"Blowjob?" Matthew asked gently.

Lovino nodded and pushed himself up and scooched down to sit between Matthew's legs. He chewed his lip for a moment trying to remember what Matthew liked. Sex never stuck in his head. He glanced up to Matthew for instruction.

"What do you want me to do?" his voice trembling.

"A little teasing first is always nice."

Lovino smiled and did as requested. He planted kisses around the sensitive organ, and brushed it a few times, but didn't touch it. He nipped at his thighs and fingered him a bit before taking him in. Matthew let out a moan and Lovino hummed a little. He didn't feel anything when he did this. He was happy that Matthew was enjoying it, but he didn't see why his moans always made Matthew seem excited. Matthew's sounds did nothing for him.

"L-Lovino…" Matthew said pulling the man's head up.

"What is it? Am I doing something wrong?" Lovino asked, fearing that he wasn't pleasing Matthew. This was for him after all.

"No, you're doing perfect. I just thought maybe we should use some protection," Matthew said handing Lovino a condom. Lovino stared at him.

"Why?"

"I just think it would be a good idea for me to wear it," Matthew shrugged.

"I'm not cheating on you if that's what you're thinking."

"No, no. Nothing like that. I got some flavored ones, so that there'd be something nice for you. I know you're not really stimulated giving oral."

"Oh." Lovino muttered and took it. He slid it on and went back to work.

Matthew came and motioned for Lovino to kiss him. Lovino smiled. He loved kissing. He laid against the Canadian and kissed him softly a few times as he made sure to run his hands over the man's body. He knew to do that much. Matthew loved it.

They switched and Matthew's lips wrapped around Lovino. The man gasped and gripped his hair as Matthew went to work. It always felt so strange. He knew it was Matthew making him feel this good, but at the same time he felt like it was just happening on it's own. He craved for Matthew. He wanted to feel his body heat and have their arms wrapped around each other. He didn't want his heart to race. He didn't want to be out of breath. He didn't want the pleasure. He wanted Matthew. That wasn't to say he didn't absolutely love how good he felt. He did, but it confused him so much, even after nearly four years since their first time.

He felt the pleasure rising higher and higher until he couldn't take it anymore. The man didn't even feel Matthew anymore, pure ecstasy had swallowed him. He felt a release as he moaned. He laid with his eyes shut, panting for what felt like forever. He hadn't even realized Matthew was laying next to him, holding him, running his fingers through his hair until he heard Matthew speak.

"Lovi, how do you feel about multiple rounds? With me…" he slipped a lubed finger into him. A soft sigh of pleasure escaped Lovino's lips at the sensation.

"As long as I get to cuddle all night after dinner, you can do whatever you want," Lovino cooed, pulling Matthew down to kiss him.

Matthew continued fingering Lovino until the man was gasping. Lovino hated when his body did got this aroused. It almost hurt. Lovino felt Matthew leaned over him and picked something up. He figured it was lube, but he opened his eyes at the sound of foil. Matthew rolled a condom on.

"Mattie…" Lovino didn't understand why he was using condoms. They hadn't used them in so long.

"It's okay. I know you're not cheating." Matthew leaned down and kissed him. "It's supposed to enhance pleasure. I want you to enjoy this. I enjoy it so much more when I know you're beside yourself."

"Okay."

This was the part Lovino really enjoyed. He never felt overstimulated. He could feel Matthew's body heat and wrap his arms around him. He could remind himself that he wasn't just feeling things. Matthew was with him. He still didn't feel connected to him, but he loved the way it felt.

They finished a while later, Lovino completely spent. He was so drained, but he knew he was about to recharge. They dressed in pajamas before eating dinner silently on the couch. Matthew knew Lovino needed more when they had so much sex. He knew he wasn't going to say much until after they cuddled. He was glad that he was in a relationship with his best friend who understood and respected him.

"I love you," Lovino whispered, leaning against him.

"I love you too."

Matthew took the plates from Lovino and cleaned them before he changed their sheets. Lovino waited patiently. He hated this feeling. It was bordering on empty. Matthew appeared and picked him up. Lovino chuckled quietly and wrapped his arms around him. Matthew set him down and got cozy before allowing Lovino to snuggle into him. This was the best Valentine's Day ever as far Lovino was concerned. Matthew was happy. He was content and enjoying Matthew's arms around him. He knew he'd wake up in Matthew's arms and there was not a better feeling in the world.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I did some research about flowers and their meanings in Italy. If I'm <strong>__**wrong, please forgive me and let me know.**_

_**Anyway, thank you for reading. Please leave a review.**_


	7. Chapter 6

Lovino sat on the couch, crossed legged, typing up his lessons plans while Matthew read next to him, the only sound breaking the silence was the clicking of the keyboard. Lovino had a day off work for a bad weather make up day, so he was able to stay in with Matthew. He hated that he had to work on a day off, but such was the life of a teacher. At least this way he got to lean against his lover.

Matthew's phone broke their silence when his phone rang. Lovino moved slight before going back to typing, so that Matthew could get his phone from where it was sitting on the counter charging. Lovino glanced up at Matthew as the room was filled with French signaling that it was the man's mother. Lovino half listened, enjoying the musical rhythm of the language. Matthew set the phone down and walked over closing the laptop on Lovino's hands.

"What the hell?" Lovino snapped.

"We have to go to my parents' house. It's a whole family thing. Your brother and grandfather are even going to be there. Apparently Alfred coming home for the first time since Christmas break is worth celebrating," Matthew said rolling his eyes as he straightened up.

"When do we have to go?" Lovino asked, going to back to his lesson plan.

"They want us there in an hour."

"Okay. Go get yourself ready. I'm okay. I just need to change out of my pajamas," Lovino murmured as he typed.

"Don't you think you should take a shower? I mean you did give me some attention this morning," Matthew giggled as he hugged Lovino's shoulders from behind and kissing his cheek.

Lovino didn't look up as his fingers flew across the keys. He was starting to get frustrated. He was so behind and he knew that Matthew was trying to get him in the shower for other reasons that getting clean. He didn't have time to waste. He had to turn these into the principal on Monday. He was already planning on going to his brother's senior art exhibit at the university tomorrow night with his grandfather while Matthew worked. Besides that he hated working on weekends.

"I brushed my teeth, and washed my face and hands. I'm okay. I'm clean enough. It doesn't make me sweaty like it does you."

"Lovi, please," Matthew begged, nibbling his ear.

"No. What is with you? Do you need another one?"

"I just want you to be presentable," Matthew said.

"I am perfect," Lovino smirked. "It's just our families. Your family's known me for almost nine years. I don't need to impress them."

"Whatever," Matthew muttered, storming out of the room.

"I just have to finish my work!" Lovino called after him.

"I said whatever!" Matthew snapped back.

Lovino sighed and shook his head. Matthew was getting more and more handsy these days. He wasn't quite sure why. He seemed to be up to something. His eyes would flash sometimes with a coy smile. He would mention odd things. It was all very confusing.

Lovino picked up his papers and books with laptop before going to his room. Matthew was already in the shower. He changed into a pair of dark jeans and a black button down shirt. He rolled his sleeves to elbow and checked himself in the mirror to make sure it looked nice before going back to writing lesson plans. Matthew emerged right as Lovino was finishing up.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Lovino. I've just been in such a romantic mood lately, you know. I was also stressed about my parents and their stupid favoritism. You understand that."

"It's okay, Matt," Lovino smiled.

"It's just like why does Alfred get a celebration every time he comes home from college? I got dragged to all his high school games. That's been my life since he was like five. I don't like sports! Sue me! He's good at everything athletic like that. I'm not. I don't really even know what I'm good at. It's not my fault!"

Lovino sat down and rested his head in his hands. When Matthew got on his rants, it would last a while. He and Matt used to complain about their little brothers when they were teenagers, though now Lovino didn't complain quite as much as he used to about Feliciano. He was actually quite proud of how hard his brother had been working on his art and how much he had accomplished on his own without the support of their grandfather who didn't view art and music as a career, rather than a hobby.

"...If I have to hear about his his full ride football scholarship one more time, I am going to snap, Lovino! I swear to god, it's always what a huge sports hero he is. Who gives a fuck? When has he accomplished more than throwing and catching and chasing a ball? It's fucking ridiculous!" Matthew pulled a pair of boxers on.

"Yeah, if he doesn't make it to the professional league, what is he going to do?" Lovino said in a supportive manner.

"Right? That's what I've been saying! He's nineteen and he thinks that football is going to be his career. He thinks that just because he wore a letter jacket and that he is a starter as a freshman, he's got his future set. What if something happens? Do our parents prepare him for something to fall back on? Of course not! No, Alfie's going to be a big star! Give me a break. Remember when I graduated valedictorian in high school? Dad didn't come because Alfred had a tryouts. My mom comes to everything and she does dote on me, you know. I just...I wish it was like it used to be before Alfred was born when I was five. Mom did so much with me. We were always enjoying our time. Dad took me to the park and the library. Then that little asshole is born and everything goes to shit!" Matthew threw his hands up.

"Yeah, having a baby changes things."

"It's like, I guess I've always known that Dad would always do more for Alfred. He's his real son after all. Mom gives him more attention because he was a love child and I was the result of a one night stand turned boyfriend with an asshole that walked out a month before I was born. Do you know how that feels, Lovi? My mother was like twenty-two years old and she got knocked up. Then she meets Dad when I'm a year old. I don't have any memories without him. Like he's always been there for me. He's always been my dad. But he missed so many things that were important to me because his biological son had something better to do. I hate being the fucking accident. Nobody likes the accident," Matthew hissed, glaring at the wall.

"I do. I love you. Your parents love you too. You're just quieter and more well mannered than your brother. He demands attention and you just passively look for it. Besides Feliciano was an accident and everyone prefers him to me," Lovino cooed and wrapped his arms around Matthew's waist, kissing him softly.

"Really?" Matthew asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. My parents only wanted one kid. I don't remember life without him. He's only a year younger than I am."

"Oh...well...Alfred's an ass."

"He is," Lovino purred kissing him again.

"I can't stand him," Matthew muttered.

"Who can? He's one of those people only parents can love," Lovino humored.

"I do feel sorry for him," the Canadian laughed, shaking his head.

"He's quite pathetic, really."

"It's true. It just pisses me off that they hold him on a pedestal. My whole life I was pushed aside because Alfie wanted to do something. I couldn't go to science camp in middle school because he had little league and soccer. Whatever though, I'm not ignored with you."

"I'd never ignore you," Lovino smiled sweetly.

Matthew let Lovino hold him for a moment. Lovino wished that Matthew would learn to let go of the jealousy he held for his brother. Alfred really wasn't that bad of a person. He never meant to be rude or obnoxious. Lovino didn't really know if the kid could help it. He was always smiling and wanting to help, but mostly for his own benefit. He was rather self centered.

"Thank you, Lovi. You really helped. You know what? I'm not going to take it anymore! I'm going to tell Alfred exactly where he can shove those trophies. He'll know how I really feel! I'll tell my mom I'm sick of being pushed aside. You know what? My dad needs to learn that I'm still his son even if it's not by blood. You don't raise a kid and push him aside when a biological child comes along. I'm doing it, Lovino. I'm ready for it. Let's go!"

The men headed out, dancing to the radio in the car, singing on the way. Lovino would never admit how much he loved to sing to boy bands to anyone other than Matthew. NSYNC would forever be one of his favorite bands to dance to. Not even Feliciano knew that. He shared his deepest secrets with this man.

They arrived at Matthew's parent's home and were greeted by his overly affectionate mother. She threw her arms around Matthew and kissed his cheeks. Before doing the same to Lovino.

"Mon amours! I hope everything is okay. I'm sorry for it being last minute. We didn't realize Alfred would be home so soon. He kind of surprised us," Marianne laughed.

"It's okay. Lovi finished his work, so we're not rushed," Matthew smiled.

The two entered the house to be greeted by Arthur who was standing in the kitchen talking with the younger boy. Alfred was throwing a ball between his hands as he laughed energetically. His high school letter jacket had been replaced with one for his university. His blue eyes twinkled as he spoke.

"Mattie!" Alfred grabbed his older brother in a tight hug, after Arthur had smiled a polite hello.

Lovino watched as the overly tight hug crushed Matthew's ribs. He winced a little and managed to pat him on the back gently.

"Hey, baby bro. How's college? I bet you're having fun!"

"Oh yeah, dude! It's totally awesome!"

"You passive aggressive bastard. You really let him have it," Lovino whispered.

"Shut up!" Matthew hissed back.

Lovino rolled his eyes. Matthew never went through with his plans. He shook his head and walked into the living after hearing the sound over Feliciano's voice. He decided to go see what his little brother was up to. He walked in the room to find his Feliciano with Roma talking excitedly about tomorrow night.

"Lovi!" Feliciano jumped up and pounce hugged his brother.

"Don't touch me," Lovino protested weakly as he hugged the younger man.

"Mio nipote! How have you been? How's teaching?" Roma asked energetically hugging his grandson.

"I've been good. Work is great. I feel like I'm doing so much for my students. It's so rewarding. I honestly love going every day," Lovino smiled.

They exchange pleasantries before Roma excused himself to go help out with the preparations and see Matthew, leaving the boys alone. His brother kept rubbing his thighs. He winced a little. Lovino nudged Feliciano with his foot.

"Why do you look like you're in pain?" Lovino asked, his arms crossed across his chest.

"Oh, what? Huh? I'm not. I was just thinking," Feliciano smiled, his face lighting up with enthusiasm.

"How's the potato? Not that I care or anything. I'm just being polite since you seem to like him."

"Ludwig is good! He's been hired to work at GE Healthcare as a mechanical engineer! It's really great. We're so happy," Feliciano crossed his legs and faced his brother on the couch.

Feliciano moved his arms to rest on the back of the couch and placed his head on his hand. With his other hand, his brushed his hair back. Lovino's eyes widened when he saw the red marks on his wrists. Lovino grabbed his free hand hand and examined the mark. They seemed to be rope burns. Lovino narrowed his eyes.

"Why do you have rope burns on your wrists?"

"Ve…" Feliciano's eyes widened and he pulled his sleeves down, his cheeks going a bit flushed as he looked everywhere except his brother. He smiled suddenly and laughed.

"Oh, uh, you know, I was walking Ludwig's, um, um, his puppies, yeah, puppies, last night. Luna is a German shepard and Hans is a bull mastiff, so they're big dogs. Anyway, I, um, I had the, uh, leashes, um, um, around my, uh, wrists and they saw a, um, um, a kitty and chased it and, um, um, they were so, uh, strong, yeah, strong that it pulled me and um, it, uh, it left these marks. They'll be gone by the end of the day," Feli explained with smile as he fidgeted, refusing eye contact.

"You're a terrible fucking liar," Lovino glared.

"It's true! Luna and Hans are big dogs that are strong and chase kitties!" Feliciano insisted.

"Yeah, I fucking know that! I don't buy your stupid story though!"

"It's none of your business," Feliciano said weakly, paling a bit.

"Excuse me?"

"What I do with, I am an adult and it's not your business," Feliciano huffed, crossing his arms.

"You mean...oh god, ew! What the fuck Feliciano!" Lovino shook his head feeling sick. "It's that...no, I don't want to know."

Lovino knew enough to connect the dots. It made him sick what was going on with his brother and his potato excuse of a boyfriend, but now this? He couldn't get the image out of his mind, not that he had meant to put it there. It just happened. He had to leave the room. He didn't want to know the extent of his brother's bedroom activities.

"Lovi, wait!" Feliciano grabbed him. "It's fun. I like it. He doesn't hurt me too badly. Just enough that it feels good. It's not bad or anything and we have a word so if it gets too painful-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Lovino shouted covering his ears.

"I just don't want you mad at Luddy! You're always mad at him for something and I want you two to be friends," Feli pleaded, throwing Lovino puppy dog eyes.

"Maybe the fact that he's doing disgusting things to you is a damn start, huh! That is sick. Nope. No, thank you," Lovino shook his head and walked out of the room in search of Matthew.

He found him sitting at the table drinking tea with Arthur while Alfred sipped a bottle of coke. Lovino could never figure out how an athlete could drink so many soft drinks and eat the diet of the American and not be malnourished. The boy practically lived off cheeseburgers and hot dogs. He gave Matthew a look letting him know he needed to talk in private. Matthew nodded, excusing himself.

"Feliciano is being forced into that kinky BDSM shit with his meathead boyfriend," Lovino splurted out as soon as Matthew closed the door to his old bedroom. Matthew looked shocked.

"Forced?" Matthew asked, his brow wrinkling.

"Well I don't know if it's forced, but if my brother is really into that shit, we have another problem. I just...he's Feliciano! He's so innocent and stupid. I know it was that fucking potato bastard's fault!" Lovino snapped.

"Look, Lovi, how do you know?"

"He has damn marks on his wrist and he gave me some bullshit lie then when I didn't believe him, he fucking told me about it! As if that asshole defiling my brother isn't enough, he has to tie him up and inflict pain on him too! It's disgusting!" Lovino shuddered.

"Lovi, he's twenty-three. He can make his own decisions. If he likes it-"

"No! No! Fucking no! I don't...no, no, no, no. Nope. No. I can't get that image out of my head, Mattie! He put it in there and I just...oh fuck...no...shit. I'm going to be sick, Matthew."

"We can cuddle for ten minutes. That always clears your mind. Do you think you can do that? Ten minutes." Matthew rubbed his arms gently.

Lovino nodded. He let Matthew take him to the bed and hold him as the images escaped his mind. Nothing else existed other than Matthew and himself. There wasn't a house full of people downstairs. Ludwig didn't exist. Feliciano was still innocent. Everything was okay. He didn't feel about to vomit, nor did he feel the urge to kill the man he deemed to be defiling his brother. He concentrated on the feel of Matthew's body against his, the steady breathing and heartbeat. It was soothing. They laid like that until Matthew's alarm went off and Lovino was led down to socialize.

The rest of the night went by fairly uneventful. They participated in the family conversation and watched as Marianne made a fuss over entertaining. She and Arthur got in a few tiffs, but other than that the evening was calm. They listened to Alfred talk about college and football. As Matthew had informed Lovino, he had no back up plan. It was rather childish in Lovino's point of view. Even Feliciano had a back up if art didn't work out...and that was saying a lot considering how irresponsible the younger brother had always been.

The dinner was fantastic. Lovino rarely tried new things, but Matthew's mother always was able to get him to try whatever dish she concocted since she was such an artist when it came to cooking. He wanted her to just teach him everything. There were weekends when Matthew was at work that he would come over and learn how to cook new dishes to surprise his boyfriend with. He'd learned how to make Matthew's favorite meals from this woman, of course it was to be expected as she did raise the man.

The family filed into the living room for a movie. Lovino excused himself to go to the bathroom and when he returned, the room grew strangely quiet. Everyone was staring at him. Roma was beaming. Feliciano was giggling. Marianne had tears in her eyes as she smiled. Alfred was grinning that signature million dollar, all American boy smile. Arthur was staring into his cup uncomfortably. Lovino looked to Matthew who just had the same comforting smile he always had. He calmed down slightly and walked over to sit next to Matthew.

"Whats going on?" he asked. "I'm sorry if I took too long. I wanted to wash my face…"

"No, we weren't kept waiting," Matthew assured him.

Feliciano hugged his arm and rested his chin on his shoulder as he grinned at him. How was he so damn adorable when he was twenty-three? Lovino could never figure out how his little brother had stayed cute past the age of eight. The younger Italian refused to speak when Lovino demanded to know why he was acting this way. He didn't like being touched in the first place, especially not now that Feli was with that German, especially not when everyone kept looking at him.

He managed to untangle himself from his brother to watch the movie in peace. He felt himself growing tired after a while and snuggled against Matthew. He wasn't one to show affection around so many people, but this was his family. He'd known them all for so long that he felt safe enough to fall asleep on Matthew. It beat sleeping against Feliciano, that was for sure, which had been his go to prior to developing that comfort level in their relationship. He felt himself drift off to sleep, Matthew's arm hugging him, his feet curled up next to him just barely touching Feli.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Please review. Thanks you!<em>**


	8. Chapter 7

_**Sorry this update took awhile. Things have been crazy. Enjoy!**_

* * *

><p>Lovino unlocked the front door of the apartment, holding a box of Matthew's favorite donuts. He had special ordered them at the bakery. He wanted to make him feel better about the combination of bad work cases and the favoritism of his family. The lights in the house were off and no noise met him. Lovino smiled to himself. Matthew was probably asleep, the lazy bastard.<p>

Lovino went to the kitchen and sat the box of donuts on the counter before making his way into their bedroom only to find it empty. The bathroom door was open, the lights off. Lovino frowned as he searched for Matthew. He should be home. It was his day off.

"Matthew? Mattie? Are you home?"

He sighed when he didn't find him. He was probably at the store or something. Matthew would occasionally leave and forget to text Lovino that he would be out for a few minutes when the other returned home or woke up. Lovino sent a quick text letting his boyfriend know he was home.

Lovino laid on the couch for a moment as the silence of the house surrounded him. He loved the quiet. It was so rare that he was able to enjoy it. He never had a moment of peace at work. Even during his lunch break, Antonio insisted on eating with him in his classroom. He'd show him pictures of his kids and his wife. He'd talk while Lovino half listened. He acted like he didn't care about the older man's boring, domestic, suburban life, but really it sounded so nice. Lovino wanted that life.

He closed his eyes and imagined children running around while he or Matthew cleaned and cooked while the other worked. When they were off at the same time, they would help each other. They'd sit at the kitchen table and do times tables and spelling quizzes with their kids. Science experiments would be the most exciting time in their home. They'd take their kids to the park and drive them around to soccer or dance classes. It'd be so wonderful.

He pushed the visions from his head. He was slightly jealous of Antonio's stories. He didn't know where this relationship was going to end up. He knew where he wanted to be, but he was scared to want it. He pushed the thoughts from his head and got up. They needed laundry to be done.

Lovino put the soap in and turned the water on in the washer before going to sort everything that needed to be done. He tossed the denim and dark clothing to the side, checking the pockets to make sure they hadn't left anything in them. It was a lesson they'd both learned the hard way after one of Matthew's certification cards and Lovino's phone ended up washed. They'd had shirts ruined and socks stretched. Lovino was not about to let it happen again.

His hand met something in the pocket of Matthew's jeans he'd worn the day prior. He pulled out a crumpled receipt. He opened it to determine if it was needed or not and was shocked to see the name of a very nice four star restaurant in town with reservations for that night at eight. Lovino smiled and stuffed it into his pocket. It was already nearly six. Matthew must have gone to get chocolates and flowers like he did every time he did a surprise date night. He finished sorting the clothes before putting them in the wash.

Lovino went through his closet trying to find the right thing to wear. Nothing seemed to be appropriate. Why didn't he have more nice clothes? He sighed as he tried five outfits, unhappy with each one. Too casual, too formal. Nothing looked right. Finally he settled on a pair of black slacks with a button down shirt and a tie. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror. It was perfect. Matthew wouldn't regret taking him out.

Matthew never said anything, but Lovino knew he would be disappointed when the man would throw the first thing he found on to go on a date since they moved in together. The thing was, Lovino hated the idea of Matthew seeing him acting like a teenage girl on her first date each time. Matthew almost always sprang dates on to fancy places and he wasn't about to have Matthew tease him playfully about trying things on, but tonight he had the upper hand.

Lovino glanced at the clock. It was nearly seven. The restaurant was in the city over. Where was Matthew? Lovino checked his phone. Matthew hadn't sent a text back. Lovino chewed his lip for a moment. Maybe he was running late and his phone had died? That was probably it, but he should go ahead and call just in case. No answer, but his phone was on and working. Lovino sent another text.

_**Hey Mattie, I was just wondering if you're okay. Text me back please.**_

Lovino tried to watch TV, but couldn't focus. His mind was making up all kinds of terrible things that could have happened to Matthew. What if he was hurt? What if he died? What if he was kidnapped? The man stood up and paced the room. It was after eight. Matthew would never stand Lovino up on a date and he would never have made reservations and paid for them to not go. Lovino chewed his thumb as he called Marianne. Maybe Matthew was over there and had lost track of time. Arthur had a pet peeve about the boys using their phones all the time and there weren't clocks in every room.

"Salut, Lovino!" Marianne sang into the phone.

"Hi, um...is Matt over there?" Lovino asked leaning against the wall.

"Mathieu? No."

"Oh," Lovino felt tears prickling in his eyes.

"Is everything alright?"

"He wasn't here when I got home and he hasn't texted me back or answered my calls. I'm getting worried because we had reservations at eight," Lovino said shakily.

"Don't worry, Lovino. Everything will be okay. He's been busy, you know."

"Thank you. I worry too much. Matthew's always saying that," Lovino sighed.

"My Arthur's like that."

The two proceeded to have an hour long conversation. Marianne managed to distract him from his worry. She seemed almost prepared, but Lovino didn't pay attention to it. He heard Alfred and Arthur talking in the background as Marianne told him about what they were doing.

"Are you going to come over soon so we can cook together? I miss that," Marianne pouted.

"Yeah, I think Matthew works Saturday and I don't have any papers to grade. Is that okay?" Lovino asked quietly.

"That sounds lovely! Well Arthur's calling. I have to go. Auvoir!"

"Ciao," Lovino said before hanging up. His heart skipped with joy when he saw that Matthew had texted him and quickly sunk when he read it.

_**I'm okay. I'm going to be out until late. I'm sorry, my phone was on silent and I hadn't checked it until just now. I'll bring you food home. xoxoxoxo**_

Lovino's body shook as he read it over and over. He was going to be out late. Lovino checked the receipt to make sure the reservation was for tonight. He'd read it correctly. The man sank to sit on the bed. Matthew wouldn't cancel after he'd paid. Reservations at the restaurant were $50 a person. If Matthew wasn't with Lovino, then who was he with?

Lovino changed into a pair of sweats and a pullover and sat on the couch with gelato. He tried to keep the tears from falling as he watched television, but failed. Matthew was out with someone at a four star hotel. He hadn't told Lovino what he was doing. He didn't even warn him he was going to be out. In the eleven years he'd known Matthew, he had not once lied to him. In the six years they'd been together, Matthew had never stood him up. And in the two years they'd lived together, Matthew had never failed to let Lovino know when he wasn't going to be home for hours.

Lovino jumped when he heard the key in the lock. He stood up and walked to the front room as Matthew opened the door, dressed in a casual suit holding a box of food baring the restaurant's name. Lovino felt like he'd been slapped. His suspicions were confirmed. Matthew had been with someone else at the restaurant.

Matthew smile as he loosened his tie. "Hey, Lovi. I brought you dinner." He tried to kiss Lovino who backed away. Matthew gave him a confused look.

"Don't," Lovino snapped.

"Don't what?" Matthew asked.

"Where were you?"

"I was out."

"Where were you?" Lovino repeated.

"I just told you I was out," Matthew said walking past Lovino and going to the kitchen. "I'll warm your food for you."

"You had reservations to The Aesthetic."

"What?"

"I found the fucking receipt, Matthew."

"Okay, look, I had dinner with my family. You know Alfred being home and all. I thought it'd be nice if it was just the four of us. I'm sorry. I hope you didn't think-"

"Well I did."

"Lovi, I'm sorry!" Matthew tried to hug him, but Lovino stepped away.

"No! Why are you fucking lying to me, Matthew?" Lovino's voice was shaking as his body trembled in anger, hurt and fear. Tears threatened to fall.

"I'm not lying!" Matthew insisted.

"I talked to your mom for a fucking hour! Your damn brother and father were there! It was after the date of the reservation. You abandoned me and you are lying to me and I demand you tell me the truth right now!" Lovino almost shouted.

"You were checking up on me?" Matthew asked taking a few steps closer, his eyes narrowing. "So what, you don't trust me now?"

"Don't turn this on me! You didn't answer my texts or my phone calls! I was worried sick that something happened to you!" Lovino shouted this time.

"You don't go running to my mother! I am a grown man, Lovino. I make my own money and if I want to go out, I can do that. I'm not a child. I don't have to ask."

"What the fuck, Matthew? We have been together for six years! You don't think it'd be appropriate to let me know that you weren't going to be home until after ten o'clock? We live together! I love you and I worry! You know I do! You're not someone on the outside, Matthew! You know me! I don't hide myself from you!" Lovino's face had turned into a faucet.

"I know more people than just you, Lovino. Maybe I want to have a social life."

"O-fucking-kay! But that's not why I'm upset! You're lying to me. You won't tell me who you were with or why. You didn't tell me so I wouldn't worry. That's what I'm upset over! I'm upset that I thought for the first time in months we were going to go out on a proper date! I dressed up and waited for you and you didn't have the decency to tell me?"

"It's none of your business where I go or who I'm with."

"Are you cheating on me?" Lovino asked suddenly.

Matthew stared at him like a deer in the headlights causing Lovino excruciating pain. His silence filled the Italian's ears as he shook. Matthew didn't say a word as he stared at Lovino.

"Right. Right." Lovino shook his head. "I should have known. I...I should have known that it was too much when I told you I was ace. Okay, yeah. I...I just...I love you, Matthew. I love you and I thought you loved me and I try so hard to give you what you want and it's not good enough. Right...um...well...I…" Lovino shook his head and brushed the tears from his cheeks as he took the plate out of Matthew's hands. "You should have told me instead of stabbing me. Here. I bought you some fucking donuts. I'll be gone by the end of the night."

"Lovino...I'm not, I couldn't…" Matthew took the food from Lovino and pulled him into a tight hug. "I would never cheat on you. I love you and you're enough. I appreciate you so much. You're my best friend. I could never hurt you intentionally."

"Then where were you?"

"I had an interview over dinner. They're looking for a transport team for the PICU and I'm interested in the position. I didn't want to say anything because I was worried I won't get it and I'd let you down and I was so nervous today. I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Lovino felt a weight lifted off of him. He wrapped his arms around Matthew and hugged him, taking him in. He felt so silly that he thought Matthew would ever cheat. He scolded himself for still being so insecure over his sexuality.

He'd been out to Matthew for a little more than two years. He'd never told anyone else and he didn't know if he ever would. He was just fine with people thinking he was gay. It was easier to explain that way. Matthew understood. Matthew loved him enough to stay. Lovino remembered how scared he'd been to tell him. He hadn't known about it prior to their relationship and through much of it. It was only in his senior year that he read about it and realized that was how he felt. He'd thought since he loved Matthew, he must have been gay until that point. It was just after they'd had sex. It had been such a strange experience for Lovino. He'd done it more because he felt obligated than finding attraction, but he loved Matthew and it _had_ felt nice. He just didn't feel anything toward Matthew or really anyone in that sense. He was terrified that Matthew would leave, but he left the door open knowing it wouldn't be fair to pressure Matthew into staying. Matthew chose him. They'd been open. He was being silly to think it was a barrier.

"You could never let me down by not getting a job," Lovino muttered as he pulled away and brushed his lips against Matthew's.

"I'm so sorry," Matthew whispered hugging tighter and resting his chin on Lovino's head.

"Sit with me while I eat and tell me about the interview and the job!" Lovino smiled and pulled Matthew to the table.

The two talked for an hour before going to bed. Lovino still felt foolish as Matthew's arms snaked around him and he buried his face in his boyfriend's chest. His last thought before drifting away with the feel of Matthew next to him and his hot breath on his neck was how he needed to stop worrying about Matthew leaving.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading. Please review.<strong>_


End file.
